Blog beginnings

I'm remembering the times when I got to surf the net almost regularly. That was the time when we finally bought a PC and promptly hooked it up with a dial-up internet connection. I saw through the TechTV channel (too bad it disappeared from our cable soon after) about fans of shows like Dawson's Creek (this was the 'in' show at that time) rewriting the episodes to suit their specific tastes. The site was fanfiction.net. One even killed off either Pacey or Joey in a Joey-Pacey ship (that last term I only came to know about two years ago). Popularly known as fanfiction, or fanfic for short, that's the most extreme thing to being a fan of something I've ever heard of at that time.

So off I went to discover the site. Of course, there was a time when I tried to watch Dawson's Creek, so I tried to look at the DC fanfics first. But since I never got to watch the whole series, or even see the pivotal points in the story, I don't think I found a story that would tempt me. I don't know what happened next, but the next thing I remember is going through the Yu Yu Hakusho (locally known as Ghostfighter) fanfics, and I was shocked that there were plenty depicting Hiei and Kurama in romantic tussles and/or relationships (Vincent and Dennis, respectively, for the Pinoy viewers). Since I also hadn't watched the whole series, I wondered how both of them were depicted so as to inspire these storylines and fanarts (yes, I did come across some, but not on the site). And so goes my introduction to yaoi. Yes, m'dears. Wait... 

Now back up just one moment. I remember now... The first story I read at FF.net, and one which I printed at that, was between Max and Kyle Valenti of Roswell (another show I was interested in around those times, ca 2000). I just chose one at random, not bothering with the rating (I believe at that time, FF.net still allowed mature stories rated NC-17, which eventually were booted out because they prohibited stories which would merit mature ratings), and I guess the short summary didn't hint at anything either. So imagine my surprise when Kyle and Max (who, during the earlier seasons, aren't exactly the best of friends) started getting it on in the school bathroom. I was shocked of course. Repulsed also, probably. But I guess the novelty of what I was reading prevented me from stopping reading it. It was later on that I would know that I found out the name for what I was reading , gleaned from later encounters with anime yaoi fanfics. So there's my introduction to an entirely different world, nonexistent in my usual TV viewing.

Then I stumbled across the Slam Dunk fanfics. I would bet there's an equal number of yaoi fanfics and fanfics where the male characters acted as males all throughout the story. Which is how I got addicted to reading romantic fanfics. Most of the ones I've read revolve around Rukawa Kaede. Mitsui Hisashi comes second. I especially like Rukawa x OC (own character) stories because he was quite impenetrable, and I was amazed at how these writers got him to star in his own romance story. Whether it's chipping off the icy facade revealing a hurt past, or that one girl which would make him talk in complete sentences - I had fun reading those. And there are a lot of guys from four different teams. One writer even had a fanfic ongoing for each one of them - sadly, she didn't get to finish everything. But I love the one she wrote about Rukawa (the only complete fanfic I ever printed, and which is missing as of the moment) and its sequel. I just loved seeing their characters doing things besides playing basketball and competing with each other. (Other fun discoveries where Hermione Granger x Draco Malfoy stories :D) And here I discovered Filipina fanfic writers. On their profile pages, they placed the urls of their blogs. I saw two of those and they were appended with .blogspot.com after the name of the blog.

Before this, I came across a personal site by a Filipino teenager also, named Le Cafe Bleue. She had a sort of journal, a few short stories still in progress and some other stuff. She had different sites under that one name. The design of the website was, I believe, conceptualized by her, since it seemed personally made to me and different from the other sites I've been viewing. So there she is, an anonymous writer and web geek (she knew HTML and CSS and other sorts of cool stuff), and the bloggers writing fanfics. I think they set the impetus for me to set up my own blog, and remaining semi-anonymous until today, when website domains containing the users' own names are the norm.

I've been trying to keep a diary as early as grade four, so it was no surprise to me that I would use my blog as an online diary, since that was how blogs were used back then. Now, when I started blogging in May 2004, there were a number of domains to choose from (I searched the net for choices and even went through the tours). One of the more popular ones was livejournal. Another was blogdrive. But I wanted a url where my name would be placed before the host site, much like how blogger urls are. LJ didn't have that so it was out. Blogdrive and blogger were the only ones who satisfied the criteria, but the blogdrive blogs I have come across had boring-looking themes. Hence this blog that is now 5 years old still retains the url it started with.

There is still anonymity in the net. But I like to think back to those times where I think anonymity truly reigned, social networking was still to be conceptualized and you can't find anything if you search yourself on yahoo or google unless you're really famous (like the stuff encyclopedias are made of) - a time when things were generally simpler, online and offline. I guess that's why I'm still sticking to this blog and this url, as a reminder of the old days - my continuing fascination with writing, and having a little corner all your own on the vast out there that is the World Wide Web.

writing a dream

I love neat black sign pen prints on somewhat yellowish paper, like this image here:

This is a page from my diary. I just finished taking a bath, and I remembered two dreams I had which I wanted to record in writing, whether in my blog or in my diary. Then I saw the (pseudo-) sign pen my sister bought. And I remembered how I wanted to use it to write. And I remembered my diary and found it underneath the other stuffs on my bed. The last time I wrote here was more than a month ago. Inspired by the color and feel of the pages and the pen in my hand, I started to write. This is an excerpt of what was written.

Isa sa mga magagandang pakiramdam na nagkaroon ako lately (mga days ago lang) ay iyong kaalamang merong isang taong iniisip ka parati at ang kapakanan mo, maging sa short-term lang (as in 1 minute from now) o long-term. Ewan ko kung bakit ako nagkaroon ng ganoong panaginip. Parang estudyante pa nga ata ang moda ko nun. O hindi. Hindi ko na maalala lahat ng sirkumtansya. Basta merong lalaking mas bata nang bahagya sa akin. Meron siyang kaibigang babae na nagdadalawang-isip sa akin. At meron din siyang form na kailangan niyang punan. Mukhang adult/real world stuff iyong form na iyon. At dahil OC ako at di niya ako pinigilan, ako ang naglalagay ng mga impormasyong kailangan sa nasabing form.

 Nakaupo ako sa mesa at isinusulat ang mga impormasyong galing sa bibig ng kausap ko na nakaupo sa tapat ko, sa kabilang side ng mala-parisukat na mesa. At habang nagsusulat ako, dun ko naramdaman ang isang emosyong ang sarap nga namang balik-baliakn, ulit-ulitin, hanap-hanapin. Bakas ko sa kangyang mga mata na ako ang parating laman ng isip niya. Pano ba ko sasaya, anong gagawin namin pag magkasama kami. Iba talaga kung magmahal ang isang tao. At hindi pa kami nun. Parang nung simula ay kebs ako sa mga ginagawa niya. Go lang siya kung gusto niya. Tapos nung napatunayan ko ang ganda ng puso niya, ayun na iyong parang napaisip na rin ako kung ano nga ba ang halaga niya sa akin. Pero siyempre bilang panaginip, nagigising ka na lang nang di mo alam kung bakit. At hindi ko natunghayan ang isang pagwawakas na angkop sa maikling kwentong ito.

Four thousand and counting...

I heard about this thing called the NaNoWriMo a few months back. Frustrated writer that I am, I told myself I'd participate this year.

And so i signed up about two weeks before November. I was dead set on a science fiction novel. I have explored the milieu for quite a bit already. I was quite excited by the connections I made between... Well, the novel takes place in metro manila ca 2050. this one is with a space age-y feel to it.

First day came, and I was armed with a scratch pad to write down the first words of my story (people were sharing the PC so I couldn't monopolize it). I was about 600 words shy of the first day goal. But then I had a feeling my story wasn't going anywhere, especially since I had no plot yet to begin with, something that's been bugging me since I started to have a general idea about it.

I didn't write anything during Day 2, trying to think of something to propel my story forward. For Day 3, I think I was able to come up with another idea - this during one of the numerous daydreaming I've been doing a lot of lately. And so from it was borne a story in the chicklitverse. Many of the details are wishful thinking, yes, but I thought I could go farther with that idea. It was also more feasible for me to do during my first try at writing a 50,000-word story since I didn't have time to do extensive research if I wanted to make my sci-fi story the least bit believable.

So there's the great switch: sci-fi to chicklit/romance within 3 days of NaNoWriMo start. And yesterday I started writing. I reached about 4,000 words, clearing the first two days' goal. Hopefully I won't lose steam. There's a lot of kind words and support around the nanowrimoverse and even here at DA. So I shall not fret, but remain fixed in my goal.

Onwards to 50,000 then!

This was originally posted at my DA account journal.

NaNoWriMo-ing

Yes, I am. 


And I just breached the 1,000-word mark just before 12 MN. 49,000 to go. Haha! 

But seriously, those first 1,000 words are  sooo not up to par. Well, I haven't done a lot of fiction before, and I'm attempting something grand this month: to finish a novel (that's right! check out www.nanowrimo.org because that's what wrimos like myself are up to for the whole month). I do intend to see this through, and work out what I need for my plot, which for the moment, is still nonexistent. I thought I was a bit prepared as November was approaching because I already had an idea about my milieu. But thinking it up, and then putting the ideas into words is really quite hard. I should've practiced more. And it's quite difficult to find time to use the PC because I'm back home for the All Saints' Day ritual and will be here for a week (I go back to QC on Saturday). And there's only one PC (which conked out tonight - hopefully it gets back up tomorrow) and my sister's laptop. And there are four of us kids here at home. I actually started with my writing tonight at 7 by longhand because the laptop was not free.

So I do need a netbook/laptop.  And I'm extremely tempted to buy one (a netbook most probably - possibly the newest one from Asus) so that I could more effectively make use of my time and produce more quality text for the (quite ambitious) sci-fi story I'm cooking up.

Wish me luck! (Oh, my NaNoWriMo username is thewordgeek if you ever feel like looking me up or buddying with me :D)

write. read. watch. [aug-16-09 edition]

Where art thou?
- laman ng SMS ko kay Daddy nung isang gabi dahil maghahapunan na ay wala pa siya

++

The next day, I was muttering some lines using old English-speak. From there, I got the inspiration to write my Meet fuNky_souL piece for the Peyups Webring. Pero di pa nagma-materialize. Kagabi, sinubukan kong basahin ang A Midsummer Night's Dream dahil iyon lang ang libro ni Shakespeare na meron dito (pagmamay-ari ng kapatid kong si Karen) pero wala pa ring kinahinatnan. Kelangan ko ng iba pa. In the meantime, maghihintay muna ang intro piece na iyon.

++

These days, madalas facebook ang inaatupag ko sa net. Naka-ilang applications na rin ako, at siyempre, dahil madalas ay masugid ako sa mga sinisimulan kong gawain, tinutuloy ko pa rin ang pagsubaybay sa lahat ng iyon, although di na kasing-sugid ng dati. Iba na ang naaadik sa mga bagay na sa huli ay wala rin namang patutunguhan.

++

Sa ngayon, palipat-lipat ako sa pagbabasa ng Smoke and Mirrors ni Neil Gaiman, Gerilya ni Norman Wilwayco at Catch-22 ni Joseph Heller, depende sa mood. Minsan, di ko masakyan iyong ibang mga kwento ni G. Gaiman. Iba-iba talaga ang mundong ginagalawan ng mga tauhan niya. Pero interesante ang mga pinapakitang pangyayari dun. Hindi ko lang masabi na I love those stories as much as I loved Neverwhere or all 10 issues of Sandman.

++

Siyempre, di maiwasan ang tumaba nang todo. Ilang beses ko nang binalak na mag-jogging o di kaya'y magpractice kasama ng soccer ball ko somewhere malapit sa aming bahay, kaso di pa nagkakatotoo iyon. Bukas sana nang umaga. Siyempre, wala naman kasing ibang magawa dito sa bahay kundi maupo, kumain, magluto ng iba pang makakain, mag-net, matulog, kaya di talaga maiwasan ang paglobo.

++

Kagabi, dahil di ko napanood ung original telecast nung Lunes, ay pinanood ako ang dalawang huling episodes ng Season 5 ng pinakamamahal kong House. Di ko alam na dalawang palabas na kaagad ang makikita ko, dahil madalas naman ay isang episode lang ang pinapakita sa AXN. Pero ayun... Medyo malubha na nga ang mga nararamdaman (as in sensing, not feeling) ni House kaya't medyo nagpakawala rin ako ng ilang luha habang pinapanood ang huling eksena kung saan iniwan na ni Dr. Greg ang ilang personal effects niya kay Dr. Wilson at tuluy-tuloy na siyang dumeretso sa psychiatry hospital kung saan siya mamamalagi muna. Preview ng Season 06 ay dun na sa pscyh hospital (with a cool soundtrack to boot: Elbow's Grounds for Divorce sa ep02 preview na makikita sa YouTube). Pero ayun, parang diba, dati nasa pedestal siya, kahit na mali siya, nai-aassert pa rin niya ang gusto niya, ang mga ideas niya. In a way, medyo invincible siya. Tapos kung anong nangyari (dahil hindi ko pa napapanood nang buo ang seasons 3,4 & 5 nang buo), bigla niyang nakikita at nakakausap ang patay nang si Amber. Humantong sa punto na hinallucinate lamang niya sa nangyari nang isang buong gabi. Nakakatakot at, hindi ko alam kung pano sabihin, parang naging helpless na lang siya sa mga pangyayari. Nakakatakot na mula sa isang state na in-control ka, biglang hindi mo na kayang i-control ito. Ni hindi mo na nga rin alam kung alin ang totoo o hindi. Kasabay nang medyo malagim na pangyayaring ito ay ang pagpapakasal nina Chase at Cameron, finally pagkatapos ng makailang balakid sa kanilang pagpapakasal. Mas madalas nitong season 5, parang parati na lang nakasimangot si Chase. Mas madalas kong makitang pumihit ang mga dulo ng labi niya paibaba (epekto ni Cameron at ng kanilang relasyon?) Mas nagkaroon na rin ang bulk ang katawan niya, mas mahaba ang buhok at usually ay may beard, kaya di na siya iyong hot na Chase na naging crush ko sa simula.

++

Sinimulan ko ring basahin ang graphic novel edition ng Neverwhere ni Neil Gaiman (ang Neverwhere ang paborito ko sa mga libro niyang nabasa ko na - ang mga di ko pa lang nababasa ay Blueberry at Fragile Things. Ay! At ang The Graveyard Book dahil hindi ko pa pala ito natatapos - pero astig 'to kaya go Read!). Medyo iba ung imahe dun sa pagkaka-imagine ko habang binabasa ko iyong libro. Pwedeng di ko talaga naintindihan nang mabuti ang mga paglalarawan ni G. Gaiman habang binabasa ko iyong libro niya. Pwede ring binago na rin mismo ng writer at ng mga illustrators ang vision nila sa libro. Mas voluptuous na si Door. I imagined dati na medyo payat (close to malnourished na payat pero hindi pa malnourished) sina Door at Richard Mayhew, tapos mas makulay ang kasuotan ng Marquis de Sade. Pero di naman ganun kalaking problema iyon sa graphic novel. Ayos naman siya sa 'kin. Handa na kong ma-amaze at makapag-imagine uli. Kakaibang mundo na naman ang mapupuntahan ko. Excited na kong ituloy ang pagbabasa :)

Gretchen Rubin: 13 Tips For Actually Getting Some Writing Done

Gretchen Rubin: 13 Tips For Actually Getting Some Writing Done

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Stumbled upon this at Ma'am Libay's blog. It's a nice and interesting read. One of my objectives during my bum stay here at home is to write anything from personal journals, essays or an occasional short story/poem if I could. One of the suggestions in this list is to write everyday, and I do agree. I've tried a go at it during the last week of May, then somehow I stopped. Energized by the new look of this space, I'm determined to write everyday.

snared

it's quite hard to shake off that feeling of foreboding i kinda generated after writing the previous entry. but i had envisioned writing this post a number of times this past week. i've actually missed writing like this, sharing my thoughts with the notepad and some lost soul who'll care to read my rants and what-have-yous. in my vision, i had imagined writing about the greatness of some things or something and the joy you derive from it, or them. however, i can't seem to bring myself to write about them for i cannot articulate my thoughts well enough for them to see print, or in this case, a computer screen and the ones and zeros they require to be written.

there just are some things which blow you away. ideas or concepts, transformed into concrete or living and breathing beings... weaving an altogether different reality, which may be hidden within the threads of the reality where one dwells... stories of different beings, entities, interwoven, creating one marvelous epic stretching from when there was no time yet to the present... the epic exists, the stories came to be because there is destiny... and every being in the stories contributes to the completeness of the epic, bringing the stories round to a rousing conclusion... but you expect more... you just casually peeked in, an unexpected guest... you never knew the beginning... for as was said,

“But of course we never see the beginning. We come in the middle, after the lights have gone down, and try to make some sense of the story so far.

"... 'The story so far.’ Maybe it’s all we can ever hope for…"

i have not read the whole thing completely, for these tomes of rich stories come in expensive packets. but i will finish the story. in the meantime, thanks pam for lending and continuing to lend what you have, that i may get a head start on the epic that was luckily recorded. i am forever snared by the endless and those of their realm.