Blog beginnings

I'm remembering the times when I got to surf the net almost regularly. That was the time when we finally bought a PC and promptly hooked it up with a dial-up internet connection. I saw through the TechTV channel (too bad it disappeared from our cable soon after) about fans of shows like Dawson's Creek (this was the 'in' show at that time) rewriting the episodes to suit their specific tastes. The site was fanfiction.net. One even killed off either Pacey or Joey in a Joey-Pacey ship (that last term I only came to know about two years ago). Popularly known as fanfiction, or fanfic for short, that's the most extreme thing to being a fan of something I've ever heard of at that time.

So off I went to discover the site. Of course, there was a time when I tried to watch Dawson's Creek, so I tried to look at the DC fanfics first. But since I never got to watch the whole series, or even see the pivotal points in the story, I don't think I found a story that would tempt me. I don't know what happened next, but the next thing I remember is going through the Yu Yu Hakusho (locally known as Ghostfighter) fanfics, and I was shocked that there were plenty depicting Hiei and Kurama in romantic tussles and/or relationships (Vincent and Dennis, respectively, for the Pinoy viewers). Since I also hadn't watched the whole series, I wondered how both of them were depicted so as to inspire these storylines and fanarts (yes, I did come across some, but not on the site). And so goes my introduction to yaoi. Yes, m'dears. Wait... 

Now back up just one moment. I remember now... The first story I read at FF.net, and one which I printed at that, was between Max and Kyle Valenti of Roswell (another show I was interested in around those times, ca 2000). I just chose one at random, not bothering with the rating (I believe at that time, FF.net still allowed mature stories rated NC-17, which eventually were booted out because they prohibited stories which would merit mature ratings), and I guess the short summary didn't hint at anything either. So imagine my surprise when Kyle and Max (who, during the earlier seasons, aren't exactly the best of friends) started getting it on in the school bathroom. I was shocked of course. Repulsed also, probably. But I guess the novelty of what I was reading prevented me from stopping reading it. It was later on that I would know that I found out the name for what I was reading , gleaned from later encounters with anime yaoi fanfics. So there's my introduction to an entirely different world, nonexistent in my usual TV viewing.

Then I stumbled across the Slam Dunk fanfics. I would bet there's an equal number of yaoi fanfics and fanfics where the male characters acted as males all throughout the story. Which is how I got addicted to reading romantic fanfics. Most of the ones I've read revolve around Rukawa Kaede. Mitsui Hisashi comes second. I especially like Rukawa x OC (own character) stories because he was quite impenetrable, and I was amazed at how these writers got him to star in his own romance story. Whether it's chipping off the icy facade revealing a hurt past, or that one girl which would make him talk in complete sentences - I had fun reading those. And there are a lot of guys from four different teams. One writer even had a fanfic ongoing for each one of them - sadly, she didn't get to finish everything. But I love the one she wrote about Rukawa (the only complete fanfic I ever printed, and which is missing as of the moment) and its sequel. I just loved seeing their characters doing things besides playing basketball and competing with each other. (Other fun discoveries where Hermione Granger x Draco Malfoy stories :D) And here I discovered Filipina fanfic writers. On their profile pages, they placed the urls of their blogs. I saw two of those and they were appended with .blogspot.com after the name of the blog.

Before this, I came across a personal site by a Filipino teenager also, named Le Cafe Bleue. She had a sort of journal, a few short stories still in progress and some other stuff. She had different sites under that one name. The design of the website was, I believe, conceptualized by her, since it seemed personally made to me and different from the other sites I've been viewing. So there she is, an anonymous writer and web geek (she knew HTML and CSS and other sorts of cool stuff), and the bloggers writing fanfics. I think they set the impetus for me to set up my own blog, and remaining semi-anonymous until today, when website domains containing the users' own names are the norm.

I've been trying to keep a diary as early as grade four, so it was no surprise to me that I would use my blog as an online diary, since that was how blogs were used back then. Now, when I started blogging in May 2004, there were a number of domains to choose from (I searched the net for choices and even went through the tours). One of the more popular ones was livejournal. Another was blogdrive. But I wanted a url where my name would be placed before the host site, much like how blogger urls are. LJ didn't have that so it was out. Blogdrive and blogger were the only ones who satisfied the criteria, but the blogdrive blogs I have come across had boring-looking themes. Hence this blog that is now 5 years old still retains the url it started with.

There is still anonymity in the net. But I like to think back to those times where I think anonymity truly reigned, social networking was still to be conceptualized and you can't find anything if you search yourself on yahoo or google unless you're really famous (like the stuff encyclopedias are made of) - a time when things were generally simpler, online and offline. I guess that's why I'm still sticking to this blog and this url, as a reminder of the old days - my continuing fascination with writing, and having a little corner all your own on the vast out there that is the World Wide Web.

dreaming, walking, remembering

i lost all the reflective mood i was in before i turned on the pc to lay those thoughts bare this very early hours of a new day. yes, i've slept some two hours when i got home from BAI-APDC where i'm currently spending my practicum hours, so i'll be awake for a few more hours before i wake up again for my sunday tasks. one of those sunday tasks is going to greenhills, or elsewhere, where i can buy cheap collared shirts to wear for my daily trip to APDC. wearing collared shirts is one of the requirements, besides waking up at 5 am in the morning so that i can have breakfast and buy food for my lunch, which i haven't been able to do yet since the wednesday (april 11) we started spending the whole day there.

today was like the FS 178 days all over again when we had fruitcake or ham production in the PFP. this is because the Meat Processing trainees did luncheon meat and corned beef. the activity that most reminded us of it was when we cleaned up the lab during the time when the trainees were somewhere having discussions about the activities they did in APDC for three days (they started thursday, where the four of us practicum students - cindy, diana, ron and i - were sitting in). we not only had to apply disinfectant to the floors and walls, we also had to scrape the tables and the floor dry. although the total floor area is smaller than the PFP, it was still harder work, especially since there were only four of us, sometimes three. and since no stools are provided in the work area, are feet were dead tired after the day. we only got to sit during our snack and lunch break, and then we had to walk all the way across tullahan bridge before we got to sit in another massive traffic jam to get home.

one unlucky thing that has befallen us is that the tullahan bridge is currently under repair. the first time we went there, tuesday, the route was redirected into a private subdivision and on the way out, the jeepney would pass by APDC, so i thought we were lucky for this repair. normally, one would pass tullahan bridge, and get off somewhere a bit further off, but which is some yards' walk from the bridge, and walk through the street at the corner. when wednesday came around, there was no more route through the subdivision, and we had to start walking some distance off from the bridge since during those mornings, there was heavy traffic of empty jeepneys before the bridge, so we had no choice but to walk. i don't mind the walking, if not for the heat, and the fact that i sweat easily, even with little sunshine, which is impossible with this summer season and global warming, and only five minutes' walk.

anyhow, that's it for the practicum so far. unfortunately, to complete those required 300 hours, we have to go there everyday - five days a week, till june 1. and oh yeah, we got to chat with two trainees awhile ago who also took up BS FT in UP Diliman and i found out that they knew my cousin ate mm. they had student numbers starting with 94, the year i started grade 2. however, i wasn't able to get their names since we were chatting well before lunch break, and after the break, we separated ways, them in the session room and us in the meat processing lab.

***

my roommate for the past month has left just this friday. she'll be finishing her one-year course in IT at the UP ITTC by april 18. sadly, i wasn't able to see her off. also, i'll have no more source for bleach or other anime episodes or japanese series. she gladly updates me with what's new in her manga/anime/japanovela library and i wholeheartedly burn myself a copy for future viewing, since ittc students could download them freely and quickly at the japanese-funded ittc computers. lucky anime addict, that girl.

***

i wonder how my past roommates are doing. ate zye is working somewhere, but we haven't been keeping in touch much. alessa is in texas, taking part of her practicum. mars is also having her practicum right now with a semiconductors packing company and i'm glad she got in, for when she was telling me the story before, it seemed that it was impossible for her to be accepted in that company.

***

i had a weird dream recently. it was that dream that woke me at 5 am on a friday, when i could sleep late since we were allowed to absent ourselves to complete our summer registration. in my very vivid dream, the details of which i remembered the moment i woke up, i had a boyfriend, and the transition from friend to boyfriend came about quite quickly, since the guy, a familiar face among my blockmates, just asked me about it. i gave some explanation on why we shouldn't be a couple, but we ended up being together by the end of the day. the next thing i remember, the face of the guy changed into one of the classmates i've had this second semester. this was a younger guy, and the dream left me feeling like a sort of babysitter because of one really weird incident in the dream sequence. hehe.. what's really weird about it is probably the strange feeling of having someone care for me, which came with the added cost of me kinda looking after the guy since he was younger than me (he's like in second year right now, haha), the feeling that yeah, having a relationship with a younger guy (even if only in dreams) could turn out into or feel like a babysitting job, and also the bliss i get when i'm with him since my parents don't know about it, although there was one scene where my mom was kinda just making small talk with me and him. really weird.. so weird that his face has been lying around in my head since friday.

maybe because i've been tired all week that i haven't been having dreams, except that friday morning. haha, i'm wishing for more along the same story genre Ü

p.s. there was a soundtrack to the dream. it's the song beautiful by flipperstick :)