On lies

One episode from the first season of 3rd Rock from the Sun dealt with lying, a new phenomenon the four alien characters recently discovered about the human experience. It was something that can be used in certain situations for certain purposes. They realized it was quite powerful in making somebody feel like they're something big. For instance, Dr. Albright successfully twisted words to make Dr. Dick Solomon, the high Commander (and father figure) of these band of aliens and hotshot physics professor substitute for her in a meeting with the "Knights of the Living Dead," their co-professors in the university. Dick was oblivious to this, and because he was in love with Albright, he didn't think that she'd do anything like lying to him. Sally discovered this when she went out to buy soap after the boys complained that she didn't smell like the other girls of their acquaintances. She was lured into trying out various potions for an ultimately high maintenance lifestyle via free samples. When she came back to get more, she found out she had to buy them at an exorbitant price. And that's when she clued in that the beauty industry is just out to make women look at themselves and ply them with more products to make them beautiful, thus making them fell good, and that's how they continue bringing in money. The adolescent Tommy meanwhile, is walking through a tightrope as he struggles to maintain his relationship with fellow sensible schoolmate August, and he knows that one wrong word from him will mean she's out of her life - something he wouldn't dream of happening.

They had more insights about it at the usual end-of-the-show group musing while looking up at the stars, previously done in the university parking lot, but later on in the comfort of their own rooftop. I don't remember most of it now, though you should watch this series (download if you must since it's quite old - Joseph Gordon-Levitt is what, 11 years old here?) and see how we would see human nature if we weren't born as one. And then one of them posed this very enlightened (at least, from the Filipino perspective) question:

What if a politican takes hold of it?

And the answer:

It would be horrible.

Exactly.

reading Dramione

OMG! I just accidentally hit the Clear field button on ScribeFire, and the Undo button won't bring what I've typed back... Aaaarrrrggggghhhh....

And of course, I can't possibly recall all of them, although I could if I tried, but that's around three paragraphs, with a number of many-worded thoughts in parentheses. So much for the usability of ScribeFire when the Undo command doesn't Unclear the frickin' field. I don't think there's a Draft Auto-save like in the web-based blogging tools. So now I'm no longer inspired to write. And I was on the verge of expounding on my topic: Dramione fics. I was going to feature two in this post. Check it out, if you're fond of this ship, or if you're curious as to how Draco Malfoy and Hermione could possibly get along in the HP universe, and possibly end up kissing each other and maintaing an interesting, albeit, challenging relationship. *Sigh*

Really, a big big sigh. Darn...

From my old haunt fanfiction.net, there's Forbidden Fruit, still unfinished but one of the better ones by author petitesorciere. At Charms class, Draco and Hermione are inadvertently paired up to charm an apple to make the eater keep on eating it. Bickering between the two leads to a match for supremacy on who can do the charm, which backfires. They each took a bite of the apple and found their bodies drawn to each other. Seduction becomes easy from then on. Almost every chapter features intimate scenes between the two, and if that's not your thing, then I suggest you read the other one, already completed with a sequel already in the writing stages.

An Aversion to Change which is more of a tragedy by Mel88 is post Half-Blood Prince. Draco is seemingly disowned by his father after his failure to kill the headmaster. The Golden Trio (as Harry, Ron and Hermione are called in the other fics I've read) are active in the Order of the Phoenix. Draco takes up on Dumbledore's offer to go to the headquarters of the Order of the Phoneix so he settles into 12 Grimmauld Place on the summer before school, but ignored by the others, although he's still his smug self looking to fight or irritate any of his schoolmates. Ron and Hermione, who is made Head Girl, go back to school while Harry looks for the Horcruxes, and Draco is made Head Boy. I'm not sure if it's anywhere in the books that the Head Boy and Girl share a dormitory but here (and in the other fanfics) they do. Draco, having earned the ire of his former Slytherin posse Zabini, Crabbe and Goyle is assaulted by the three. He's alone in Hogwarts, with no professor nor housemates to support him. Although here, he's portrayed like Harry when it comes to Quidditch - there's nothing in Hogwarts he'd rather than fly on his broom and play the broom equivalent of football. A talented flier (unlike his character in the books wherein Harry often tricks him in crashing to the ground whenever he feigns a dive, here it's Draco doing that to Ginny, the new Gryffiindor seeker), an able captain, brimming with confidence, and a hot body, and who gets nicer and nicer to Hermione as the story progresses, especially when Hermione is in the same boat as him for protecting him from Ron and the others, well, we know what happens. But tragedy, oh, sweet tragedy... He still loves Hermione, but there's still something more important to him than his love. And the last scene is just heartbreaking. Amazing, just amazing work. But if you don't like this ending, preferring a happier one, check out the Alternate Ending to An Aversion to Change. Find it in the author's list of stories.

Visual Data redux

I remembered Wordle and I thought I should try it out again. There ought to be a lot of changes since that last one. Although I think much of the stuff has been focused on my post regarding helping Philippine Ondoy victims. (Or it probably just takes data from the newest posts. I did try giving it the RSS feed for my blog but it churned out the same thing. Check it out yourself:

Here's another interesting result from one of the users of the site. This now is the result of Homer's Odyssey. 'Father' is the most numerously used word in the text.


Speaking of words in visual form, I remember one site I've found to benefit and/or be of interest to many of us. The site author culls information/data/statistics and transforms them to images that will immediately show us the relation of each one to the other. Take for example (see below), his most recent work on the proportion of male/female usage of social networking sites (and can you believe the number of social networking sites out there, with more adding every minute?). The conclusion is that chicks rule because of the majority of the sites where matriarchy is the norm. As the site's name suggests, information is indeed beautiful.

my BIG world

Ten years ago, my world was just starting to expand. 


The internet was just something I've been reading about in Young Star (the Friday youth section of the Philippine Star). From what I've gleaned, I knew immediately that I would like to be a part of that world. I'd want nothing more than to take advantage of this new tool to learn more not just about my immediate surroundings, but also a lot of different things from around the world. Learning about HTML (enrolled in a course the  summer before high school) also opened my eyes to the fact that one cannot only get information from the internet, you can also contribute to it. TechTV was then also available  to me and it introduced to me the different uses of  the internet. 


Thus began a life of reading fanfics and fiction made by unpublished but talented writers, downloading images of anime/movies/actors/musicians, blogging, watching J- or K-dramas once in a while, buying books through websites/online auctions (the first book I bought was Eugenides' The Virgin Suicides whose original owner was selling it through avalon.ph), discovering different kinds of music, and learning about writing, designing, photography and a myriad of other stuff. 


Thus is the life mentioned a never-ending search for information of different sorts and purposes.  Knowledge is power. And with a wealth of information at my fingertips, my world is so much bigger, my actions affecting not only the people I interact with physically; on the internet, an action, a reply, a message may be ignored by most people but there will be a few who will take time to read, dissect and criticize. Thus are actions jumpstarted, reactions generated, worlds changed.


+++
I didn't intend to end this entry way. This was supposed to be a post reminiscing about 10 years ago. But this is how it ended up. So what's with the post?


Well, avalon.ph is sponsoring a contest where you can win Neil Gaiman's Adventures in the Dream Trade. So there you go, if you haven't joined yet, don't waste any more time. The contest ends tonight at 11:59 pm. 


Neil Gaiman is one of my favorite storytellers, and I want to have everything by him to be able to reread them anytime. I still can't forget the impression I got when I first read Preludes and Nocturnes, my first time to read his work. Totally mind-blowing, something I'd treasure for a lifetime.

sleeping thoughts

Before she went to sleep, my mom admonished me: "Huwag kang magpupuyat." Of course, the right reply to this is "Yes." However it can't be helped, and I think she's aware of it. I fell asleep right after dinner which was around 8 pm. I wasn't supposed to. But then lying on my side (to get the ear drop seeping to the right place) in the dark would do nothing else for me but to sleep. So I did, waking up two-and-a-half hours later, 30 minutes late for my Monday House fix. (I thought of deterring my fix five days later, on the Saturday night reply of the Monday episode. Then I thought, "What the hell? I won't be sure I'll be able to watch it come Saturday, so why not watch it now.") I still had a slight headache, but it seemed to disappear just as the Titanic (watched the DiCaprio-Winslet romance when the ship was sinking already) broke in two.

So well, here I am, 2 hours later (it's 2:18 am), still online and still very much awake. It's become a habit for me that when I sleep early in the night and then I wake up a bit later, I'm bound to stay awake until morning comes, when I finally feel the effects of lack of sleep. But then, I can no longer sleep because, well, it's morning already.

I think young people have a lot of energy that just goes to waste or else not used to its full capacity. I'm trying to put my energies to good use. I just need consistency which I sorely lack. Plans and dreams need to get started on energy.

No longer in the mood to write. Talk more next time.

Status report

It's a hot Monday morning and the heat's getting to me, in contrast to the past week when cool temperature pervaded because of rains brought by Linfa (which just left the Philippine area of responsibility). It's been more than a week since I left QC and I'm quite content here at home. I eat regularly (i.e., 3 meals a day at the right times), I could cook some fare for breakfast (usu. egg with tomatoes and onions), lunch or dinner or assist in making them (I'm clueless about cooking for the most part so I need this exposure). I've also tried baking a failed lengua de gato, a popular sweet food from Baguio, and banana-cinnamon oatmeal cookies (yum! everything's gone and I wasn't able to take a picture). I tried to exercise my composing skills when taking shots using our Canon IXUS. I have access to a daily newspaper, and yesterday, I was able to read a lot of opinion columns in the Philippine Star. There's also a DSL connection here so I could surf anytime. I was hooked on Facebook before I came home because of the myriad of quiz apps available. Now, I'm constantly checking it because of MafiaWars (RJ actually got me curious because he coaxed me into making an account at Tagged so that I could join his Mafia there; now he set up a Facebook account so that he could play FB's MafiaWars which is a little bit different from the one at Tagged.

So one week or so flew by net-surfing, eating, reading Mills and Boon romances (they're my Mom's), trying to cook, sleeping late, getting up by 7 in the morning (it's only been three times since I've gotten up later than this), taking nature-themed pictures such as plants, flowers (the ordinary kind) and some common animals here (like cat and snails), discovering that we have sources of malunggay and calamansi in our own yard on top of sili, atis, guava and saluyot, and sweeping the house everyday. There were other things I had planned to do before I came here. On top of these was enhancing my Spanish and German writing and speaking skills. Then I planned to write regularly, something like on a day-to-day basis. Talking with my parents soon after I got home brought the pressure to start earning so one of my immediate objectives was to find a work I can do from home. I can't say I'm fulfilling all three satisfactorily but I'm putting myself on a schedule starting this week so I can fit all three on top of my daily activities. My problem is when I'm online, I don't immediately get to do what I'm supposed to do. Surfing about also shows me many things I'm interested in so my time in front of the PC lengthens. I ought to make a list of things to do before I go online and stick to it, then accumulate more tasks for the following surfing sessions. But sometimes, it's just easier to give in to impulse. *sigh* Oh yeah, because of those activities I planned to do, I thought it would be a good practice for me to manage my time since I really suck at it.

I also told myself I'd be more informed about, and if possible, more involved with this country's affairs and international issues.

One downside of staying at home is my lack of physical activity (and I mean the running around/competitive type which I could do with Sikad when I'm in QC). I don't know of any who play here and I certainly haven't seen or heard of anyone playing the sport in our city north of NCR. There's no space here where one could really jog around and for awhile, floods have claimed our lawn so there's no space to play basketball or badminton. I've watched two games for the Asian qualifiers to the 2010 World Cup and I envy those countries because they have the pride to send their national teams to vie for a place in that tournament. Hopefully the Philippines reaches that position in the next five years.

That's all the time I've got for today's musing. Will work on my to-do list and shcedule, then cook milkfish for since lunchtime's approaching. Ciao!

status report

hmmm...

bake banana-cinnamon oatmeal cookies
read mills and boon novels
sit around all day
read readers' digest
play mafia wars on facebook
play save a reef on facebook
take lotsa quizzes on facebook
sleep late
take nature-themed pictures
be OC about emails and online accounts
write every now and then
read the papers

wordle me

Tried out wordle.net and got this:



it surveyed my page and based on the frequency of the words/numbers i used (since i haven't removed any words except the common and, at and the), it churned out this image where the frequency of use is reflected on the relative sizes of the words in the image. fun!

halaw

seeing "compromise" on a positive light

"Early on, from my father, I learned the necessity of compromise, which to me has never been a bad word. It makes things happen, it makes things possible. It is, in its own way, an art, a working of one's attitude and skill on the material and situation at hand. We often look at our heroes as those who never compromised their principles, and that's admirable, but not all principles are created equal. Some involve the survival of the nation, others merely the survival of the self, which is important enough on most days, especially if the survival of others depends on you."

- Sir Butch Dalisay, For Love and Living

++

opening theme song ng cartoon sa ABS dati na Julio at Julia
di ko ata nasubaybayan ito hanggang sa katapusan ng kwento dahil hindi ko alam na nagkatuluyan pala ang kambal na ito. pinag-uusapan kasi namin (maida, betang, jown at ako) sa lab ito kanina at na-curious tuloy ako sa kinalabasan ng kuwento kaya napa-research ako. nakakita ako ng lyrics, pati audio stream nung mismong opening song.

kapag umikot na ang mundo
IIkot din ang buhay ng tao
May saya at mayroong dusa
Sa mithiing pakikibaka (?)

kapag umikot na ang buwan
bago pa sumikat ang araw
bagong pag-asa'y matatanaw
tadhana na ang syang pupukaw

si julio at julia
kambal ng tadhana
di susuko
sa pagsubok


"Handa Ka na ba, Julio?"
"Oo, Julia"

http://www.esnips.com/doc/0b16acd5-bad6-49d9-855a-51fab95763dc/Julio-at-Julia,-Kambal-ng-Tadhana - for the song stream
http://peyups.com/posts.khtml?mode=viewtopic&topic=24627&forum=21/t_blank - the peyups.com thread

++

newly-discovered song by Alanis
alam mo naman me, hindi ko nagugustuhan ang mga kanta dahil sa lyrics kundi dahil sa kabuuang tunog. madalas late ko nang malalaman na higit sa magandang tunog ng kanta, maganda o may kabuluhan din pala ang sinasabi nito

Lyrics | Alanis Morissette lyrics - Forgiven lyrics

We all had delusions in our head
We all had our minds made up for us
We had to believe in something
So we did

Es regnet.

Es regnet.

++

A face change for my blogspot site. Got bored of the almost colorless interface it's been in for quite awhile. Amazingly, my cbox account seems to have gotten deleted or lost or something. Couldn't access it anymore to change some settings on my tagboard. It recognized my username but i've got no emails whatsoever on my new password.

++

The rain has stopped.

++

Been in a writing mood for the past few days already. Wala pang umaabot sa space na 'to. Hanggang mood lang, wala pang topic o kahit anong ideya. Pero bumabalik ako dun sa mga panahon na naeengganyo akong magsulat - mapa-blog, fanfic o maikling kwento. kaya eto na lang ang nagawa ko.

++

Kainggit ang mga taong maraming libreng oras. kasi kahit ang dami ko nang libreng oras, ang dami ko pa ring ibang ginagawa.

++

napa-facebook na rin ako. dati sinabi kong di ko na 'to papatusin. e kailangan sa isang trabahong ginagamapanan ko. ayan, nagkaroon. at medyo nawiwili ako dun sa notes feature niya. iniisip ko pa kung anong mga isusulat ko dun sa latest note kung san na-tag ako.

medyo hindi ganun ka-straightforward iyong interface niya. di mo kasi agad makita iyong group kung san admin status ka. o baka kulang lang ng tweaking sa settings. pero tiningnan ko na iyon dati wala naman akong nakitang kahawig sa gusto kong mangyari.

++

nakakain na rin ako sa bellini's. sa Marikina branch na nila 'to. inaya ako nina joyce at macel last night for dinner, supposedly, at a thai restaurant in marikina. andun na sina ate beng and dylan. i was determined to decline kasi masakit na mata ko (from puyat and staring in front of the pc for almost the whole day beginning the other day). then treat na lang daw. ayun, went with them. when we were on the way, closed na raw iyong thai resto so we proceeded to bellini's. ate beng and dylan already had dinner so they just had dessert and tea at the italian resto instead. macel ordered spaghetti with seafood baked in aluminum foil, pasta with prosciutto for joyce and me and campagnola (pizza). masarap! masarap talaga. kailangan maulit. there were breadsticks provided nung una which we (the three of us) devoured since past 9 na iyon and we haven't eaten. we even asked for seconds and even thirds pa ata. then they gave shots of sweet wine for each one of us. the owner (my companion presumed he's the son of the owner who's at the cubao branch) was trying to get our opinion on our dining experience so we also got to take a picture with him. and those pictures - since they're in macel's cam - have the possibility to no longer see the light of day. so, well, i'll just imagine bellini's through my memory.

++

it's almost three. need to leave. will futsal myself along with other sikad peeps. ah yes, and something that would pass for lunch.

miss writing. but not like this. like something else. like in estupadoink.blogspot.com or other. anyway, need to go now. like you would care.

++

[edit: 022509]
P.S. somebody posted the pics of which i was speaking above. teehee.
so we have the gang at Bellini's: seated-beng, joyce, macel, I; standing - owner, dylan

December 17, 2008

it's the day of the UP Centennial Lantern Parade. Marami bang mangyayari? I don't know. Though for a change, I would like to watch Ms. Eng'g this year. Which would mean me missing out on the final performances of the parade participants at Quezon Hall.

* * *

I just got my copies of Iwa's MondoManila and Responde yesterday. But before that, i finally saw and got to set foot on the Bookay bookstore. I've been to the Tomato Kick area many times di ko man lang siya napansin. And then now, i finally own copies of them. Glorious. Also paid for my copy of Gerilya. Sana ma-print na siya. i'm one of the first 100 who paid for a printed copy so i get to have my name printed on it. That book was what actually got me started on Iwa's books. he's got an alternative style of writing fiction, at least, that's what i gleaned from Responde and Gerilya. and he writes in Filipino, too. oh yeah, i started reading Responde just this morning. i don't know why but the urge was just stronger for me to open Responde than MondoManila, which was what won him the 2002 Don Carlos Palanca Grand Prize for novels.

* * *

speaking of reading, i have plenty still on my reading lists, many of which i have started already, or have to re-read before returning the respective materials to their owners. there's one that i'm obliged to read, being that it's about the Vision Philippines project of the Asian Football Confederation (AFC) and the Philippine Football Federation (PFF). i took on the task of writing an article about it for the soon-to-be-launched brand new PFF website. and since last Saturday was the Sikad Christmas Party and New Members' Induction, the whole Sunday was spent lazing around (eating, watching movies, lying down, talking, sleeping) in Bon's room (one hell of a complete room - kaya nang mabuhay dun, internet na lang kulang) at the 3rd floor of their house, monday and tuesday were devoted to thesis lab work and then Sonic duty, i have gone home late and tired and unable to finish reading the material. so ayan, may deadline na ako. Friday. sorry talaga avie.

* * *

so what else is on the list?
- the watchmen
- tales from earthsea trilogy: a wizard of earthsea, the farthest shore, tombs of atuan
- two to go
- calvin & hobbes: the revenge of the babysat
- the shining
- go for the goal
- great expectations
- foucault's pendulum
- anna karenina
- the historian
- skeleton crew
- diez cuentos hispanosamericanos
- the once and future king
- tales of the jazz age

balak ko pang basahin uli ang harry potter and the deathly hallows na hawak ko naman sana iyong libro. and the rest of the books from 1 to 4. reading them makes me want to buy the whole series. nakyu-curious din ako sa twilight. ayaw ko namang magbasa ng ebook. sana makahiram ako. kahit di ko na panoorin iyong movie. i don't really trust movies adapted from novels.

tapos... may reprint ng fruitcake book ng eraserheads, kanina ko lang nalaman nung nagpunta ako sa pambansang aklat-pamilihan natin. pula at berde na ang kulay ng cover, ang layo sa dating off-white with black & silver prints niya dati. gusto ko rin nung the flip reader, koleksyon ng akda tungkol sa mga Pilipino at sa Pilipinas ng iba't-ibang katauhan, kabilang na si direk Peque Gallaga. inedit siya ni jessica zafra. which brings me to twisted 8. bongga! ang dami na niyang libro. pero kung bibili ka rin lang ng twisted travels at twisted flicks, mas ok nang bilhin mo na lang lahat nung walo dahil nauulit lang ung ibang mga pina-publish sa dalawang librong iyon.

gusto ko rin ng night train to lisbon. tsaka iyong bartimaeus trilogy.

kung wishlist naman ang pag-uusapan, ang naiisip ko pa lang ngayon ay isang hardcover journal of my own, with unlined paper. parang moleskin pero hindi naman kailangan singmahal. tapos iyong buong Sandman series, Calvin & Hobbes series tsaka The Far Side collection ni Gary Larson. at saka MacBook.

pag pahahabain ko pa to, ang dami mo pang babasahing wala namang kabuluhan sa iyo kaya ititigil ko na. sana lang magawa ko iyong mga dapat at kahit ilan sa mga gustong gawin sa dalawang linggong break mula sa acads.

PAHABOL:
last night got to watch two bands at college of eng'g's maskipaps this year. first was menaya. first time to hear and watch them. love their sound, love their voice. astig. missed playing the guitar. regrets on not focusing on music. but then again, i've been involved in too many things so that mastering one is quite out of the question. oh well.

"everything you can lose" - my debut album

Got this from chard.

1. Go here. The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2. Go here. The last four words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

If you want to do this again, you'll hit refresh to generate new quotes, because clicking the quotes link again will just give you the same quotes over and over again.

3. Go here. Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Go here. The first ten links you end up in (minus the .com’s) are your 10 song titles.

*

1. Extensible automorphism

2. everything you can lose

3.














4. the 10 singles from my debut album everything you can lose:
bad samaritan
jeepster
nothing but oregano
skive magazine
turkish daily news
stencil archive
how stuff works
majid info
guardian
sublime stitching

--> i liked the title of the album, had three tries on the band name because the first one i got was a scientific name and the second was a date. of the songs, i liked the title sublime stitching the best. :)

'tis not me

This is the adrenaline talking. It is the same one that courses through my arteries propelling me to spout all these words, though I don’t know where they are gonna lead. Coming out of nowhere, probably a buildup of what the whole day has been for me, it came in bursts in the last minutes before the clock struck 10, taking over me. What I was doing was nothing like how I normally act. There was no time to think, the game was supposed to be moving fast. Instinct or adrenaline – for now, I think it’s the latter. Because after the game ended, I was still feeling high, kind of like wanting to burst out in exaggerated actions and loud words. But since I’m not normally a boisterous person, I manifested it but very little. But my mind was flowing with words. In the tricycle ride back to philcoa, I wasn’t feeling the tiredness that I normally feel after playing. My mind was floating, carrying on a conversation with Red. After he left, with no one else to talk to and spend the energy on, I was sending messages to everyone I played with. And now, I still feel like I can do my laundry. But the excitement might wear off while I do it, and then I’ll be facing a daunting task. I do feel quite sleepy. And hungry. But nonetheless, I’m filled with a sort of light happiness. Like there’s nothing else that could go wrong. Ad like I said to my teammates, ‘twas a great night.

hmm, sleepy now. ..but gotta eat first. My head’s aching a bit, probably due to hunger. This is like a night to remember for me. Anyway, enough with this postscript (I’ll just add if I can get other things in perspective for tonight). Ciao!

thoughts afore daybreak

it's been two days. Capt. Jack Sparrow haunts me. i need to see him and be near him. literally. his carefreeness, his drunken-like swagger, the expressions playing on his face, the playfulness and lilting tone of his voice when he talks. his matted, beaded hair, the captain's hat and the boots and trousers and long-sleeved top. high time i watch pirates of the caribbean: curse of the black pearl. aye, mate!

***

it's been ages since my last post. i've ventured into my first climb - Mt. Daguldol with 18 other peeps (check out the pics, i've taken up extensive reading for pi 100 this summer, i found out that i have no grade yet for fs199, i've watched coffee prince and hana yori dango, and this morning, i'm set to discover the mysticism of mount banahaw as the supposed 'promised land' and to witness the devotion of the Rizalists.

about covers

there's something about covers (of songs, that is) which i don't like. i am not against people doing their own versions of such and such songs on the videoke machine. however, when i hear them being played on the radio, especially those senti/mellow love songs, i am quite irked. i mean there's the knowledge that those songs have been sung before, by their original artists. you're stuck with the feel of the original version, the inflections, the emotion imparted by the original interpreter of the song. so it feels like these singers doing the covers only wish to imitate what the song had been like but they will never live up to the original one. i mean if you sing One Last Cry in the same way that it was sung before, what's the merit of doing it? if the cover entailed a change in the style, the arrangement, imbibing a feel that is altogether new to the listener, kind of recreating the old one but adding something else for the listener, now that would be a worthwhile listen, a reasonable investment of recording funds and promotional materials. i'm sorry for fans of these "revivals." unless the revival was the first version of the song that i'vve heard, i may not mind or be irked as much. well, i'm not really a fan of senti songs. but as a fan of sound, i do not really want to subject my ears to such kind of listening fare.

***

we're well in the middle of the month of march. somehow, i don't remember feeling like this during Marches past. a sense of reluctance to move forward but still eagerly looking forward. it's not so much about me as the people i know who brought about this feeling. my batchmates who are taking up four-year degrees are about to graduate around this time. in fact, one good friend of mine did. i was surprised by her text message yesterday morning. i believe she woke up to a friendly quote i sent and replied that it was her graduation day that day. i'm so glad for her. but at the same time, i felt that soon enough, i would be in the same boat as her, with no more school to look forward to. it's real work, out there in this material world, where responsibilities are truly on your shoulders. one wrong move and a whole array of consequences will happen. it's got something to do with the feeling that my generation, the people i have grown up with, are moving forward to become the frontliners of this society. nowadays, we mainly mind only what we want, but once we've graduated, the expectations and needs of our family will be foremost in our mind. it's like waking up to what you should do when you've dreamed all your life of other things, such things being something like deciding just where to eat, or what to do for the weekend. or i may just have been too sheltered or pampered to think these thoughts. yes, i haven't tried any form of paying job - although i wanted to do so many times this year. the only form of housework i know is sweeping, washing dishes, hanging clothes to dry. although i'm the eldest, you can't expect me to look after the well-being of a whole house, mainly because i've been used to my mom doing that for us. as for food, there's my younger brother that we can all rely on. he's the prince of our home kitchen, so to speak. anyway, this has turned into a rant of my qualities and my utter incapacity. which will be neverending if i don't stop. so back to regular programming...

my roommate and boardmate of four years left this wednesday for a 3-month OJT in the US. such big plans, moving forward - all bespeak of the future. not just any future, but the future she wants to have. maybe that's why i'm having these feelings because i'm afraid of moving forward. i don't think that far forward. i have no plans yet, not even for the next academic year. i'm just looking forward to getting on and completing my practicum this summer. i don't like big changes. i'm not yet ready to move forward and make changes in my life. right now, i'm 21, and contented with staying here in UP (originally, longer than my required 5 years which may just happen though i'm not sure about it yet), staying in this boarding house i've stayed in for all my collegiate life, and bask in the idealism, excellence and culture that the university offers. but looking around me, seeing my batchmates taking that step towards blending in with society, i sometimes feel ashamed that i don't feel the same, but at the same time, by some sort of competitive feeling, i want to take that world head on at the same time that they do.

but then, maybe, that's just the mature me thinking and taking over.

thoughts at dawn 2...

so it's like 4:40 in the morning. i'm hungry. i'm not sure i've had enough sleep. and i'm pretty sure i should've been studying, particularly solvinig math problems, ever since i woke up. if there's one thing that hasn't changed, it would be my study habits.

it's 2007 already. this is my first entry for the new year. there've been some changes alright... for one, i've changed my position in the room in the boarding house. i'm now occupying the space that mars used to occupy. so i transferred my bed and desk during the wee hours of friday dawn (i got back to up on thursday - which made me puyat so that after class at 3, i got back to the house, ate some, slept then woke up at 10pm when alessa arrived. after that, i moved my bed and desk and then slept at 4 am). yes, there still hasn't been any change in my sleeping habits. so far, the obvious effects of my move has been that i'd been able to use my pc more frequently and conveniently since i'm able to stay in bed and use it at the same time, say for example, watching the live action version of gokusen. ah, so that's what's been keeping me busy. i watched a total of 8 episodes last night. that's why i haven't studied for our math group quiz later. which is why i couldn't think of anything right now but sawada shin. a couple of nights ago, i also read through my death note manga scans. however, i don't have every chapter up to the end so i still have to find some means to acquire them (mars, hehe?). of course, i gotta finish this story. this one even has an anime version (the first episode of which i've watched at youtube) and a movie due for release. the guy playing nanahara in battle royale plays raito while L, according to my classmate, will be played by the guy playing sawada shin (an added bonus for watching the movie, haha).

i'm immersed in a lot of things japanese right now. what did i say about them a few entries back? well, those still hold up. anyhow, i want to read the manga version or at least watch the animation of gokusen, because the live action is only 12 episodes long, with one hour-long or so special which subtitle i have not been able to get my player to display yet. i've seen some snippets of the gokusen animation and the appearances of the characters in the live action differ greatly from their anime counterparts. i don't believe there's one single goodlooking person there, not even the teacher yankumi. i also want to know about the blossoming of a student's love for the said yankumi, which is not dwelt upon in the live action. of course, sawada shin is the said student and for a guy who looks like that, i want to know what he's really like and what really happened for such circumstances to happen by watching the anime or reading the manga.

so much for that. though the move has been good, the socket is not working that great. i should get myself a UPS. and then i still need to fix all my stuff. coz' some of it has been left in their usual places, like my footwear which i still haven't moved, along with a couple of boxes containing readings and notes. i'm also planning to move my clothes to the one also previously occupied by mars, because i think drawers would help me organize better. so much for organization. the only thing organized about me is my thoughts when i'm writing like this (typing away during the early morn), and possibly, the number of orgs i've joined or will join.

oops, my phone just fell to the floor for the umpteenth time. i've switched it off and switched it on, and still there's no coverage. wah, don't die on me dear phone. i need you...

yay! the globe text has returned. i've got coverage. my phone's fine once more. that's why i do not really like to replace this phone, because it's not easily destroyed by mere bumps and falls. it can survive a number of that. plus, it's got this super strong white backlight. it can literally light up a dark room as big as ours.

this is really embarassing, but ever since i've cross-posted my entries to multiply, i've been having regular readers (ate mm and ate joyce). well, it's good that they're the only ones who read these, especially since some entries when read by people other than them would embarass me. i would've preferred anonymity by just posting at blogspot, but well, to let my contacts know that i have a life, i decided to post at multiply. there won't be many of those kinds of entries (or so i think), but it would be tiresome to delete them at l, especially since multiply takes longer to load in web browsers. at least, in multiply, i know those people who read my entries. talk about wider readership. well, i'm just gratifying myself. pardon my airs dear readers (i.e. , ate mm and ate joyce, and occasionally, ate tin). okay, i'm just meandering and i need to stop now. and i wish to eat rice for breakfast. at least, i hope to. a good morning to me! and a good (insert appropriate time of day) to you!

daydreaming...

i was exclaiming to myself this morning, too many expletives in a very small period of time, like 3 minutes. i should study but then, other matters came over me and i was dreaming again. daydreaming to be exact. and what do i mostly daydream about? romantic scenes, the kinds that lead to happy endings in romance movies, you know with all the twists (fights, teases, misunderstandings in between). it's been quite a usual occurrence nowadays. i usually start them when i take a bath. and then till i change into my clothes, i'm still not done with it. it's really amazing, i get to concoct a number of lines, plus the appropriate expressions, gestures and actions. but when it comes to studying, i don't proceed that far. i should try writing down some. tedious job. well, since i've procrastinated so much, i didn't do as well as the exam should have brought out in a diligent student. come on, that must be one of the easiest midterms ever. but me, forever a crappy student since i stepped in high school. so one more exam tomorrow. gotta imbibe that thing about the taylor, maclaurin and binomial series. won't be able to pass the draft on my report in 135 though. probably watch the dare night too.


***

an aside: yep, i'm totally alright again. i love spending time with people once more. though there are quite a few problems with org peeps/stuff, but nothing too depressing or unsolvable. wah! i'd like to play futbol once more. ought to watch a dare night too. so, in another 24 hours then.