thinking

am i passing up on an opportunity to raise my spirits up by not going to the bday celeb tonight? am i really that cruel to myself that i would shun the company of others until i get myself better? i'm starting to do it now. and i think it will last until tomorrow and well into monday if external forces don't act up to change how i'm feeling. where's the bright sunshine? it's covered by the clouds. i guess, this way, i can concentrate more on what i need to do. like acads stuff for example. no happy thoughts to think about, no other things i'd rather do than study. no korean movies to put an end to this dark thoughts it's warning of rain.