Monday, March 28, 2005

monday morning reflections...cheka!

it's a no-class morning here in up. i'm also not yet sure of the schedule of my exams. that's why i left dagupan early this morning, around 2 am, so that hopefully, i could find out when our finals for food micro and fn 11 will be held, and hopefully, i could study already. for real, that is.

mtv's on the background. the program is onboard and dj vitto from klite 103.5 is currently the one being featured. same voice, toned body. it's kinda weird seeing him at the same time as well as hearing him, and not just hearing him.

there were so many thoughts in my head yesterday, but then when i already have the time to write them down, nothing comes out. like now. sana may pc rin ako dito para spontaneous parati. inggit ako kay ate jonnah. sana nasa bahay na rin lang ako. masaya dun! dami pang pagkain.

kahapon pala, we ate lunch at the malimgas market. hehe, kala mo magandang place pero no, it's just the former public market na nalipat lang ito one building. at least, it's cleaner and more organized. dad had been planning on buying pizza from pizza hut. so we thought we could eat some yesterday. and since we were still full from our lunch of rice and sisig/egado/beef (just one putahe for each person, mind you), we just walked all the way to pizza hut. so mom's sandal got unstrapped along the way and she had to buy one from footsteps. mahal nung nasira pero, that's a mario d'boro. anyway, after cguro of about an hour of walking, we finally reached pizza hut. siyempre, kung minadali namin di busog pa rin kami pagdating dun. we had the supreme family-sized pizza plus ice cream sundaes. the total: Php 658.00. and that's not even a full meal. so they think we shouldn't go back there anymore.

speaking of dad, he always makes me spend. it's because everytime i leave for manila, he would give me additional money. for my birthday, he gave me Php 1,500.00. so i would often have extra money and i would buy stuff for myself. which translates to my looking rich or with extra cash because of the possessions that are piling up here. he gave me another bill this morning. sweet naman ni daddy. anyway, i never got to kiss nor wave at him goodbye. when we reached the terminal, the conductor said i needn't buy a ticket from the booth. so i just went up already. and usually, dad follows but since there were many people already or i wasn't sitting up front, he didn't go up. and i didn't see him anymore. so those probably were the reasons. and when the bus was on its way to calasiao, i was thinking about this and dad and i was quite saddened by it. dad's really underappreciated in the family. usually, pag kwentuhan sa table, si mommy yong nagsasalita, nakikisama sa kasiyahan namin. well, siya naman kasi usually kasama sa bahay so sa kanya kami close. kaya pag ganun - usually after kumain - lahat ng ulo ang direksiyon ay sa side ni mommy. tapos nakakaguilty lang na paglingon ko sa kabila, andun lang si daddy, tahimik, nakikinig na lang, di ko alam kung anong iniisip. mejo softspoken kasi siya. kahit na gusto niyang makisama, baka wala naman siyang masasabi para makuha attention namin. mukha nga siyang parating kontrabida e. ewan ko kung ganun talaga tingin ng mga kapatid ko. pero pag nangangaral siya - na usually naman ay echoes lang ng mga sinasabi ni mommy - ang itsura parang di siya pinakikinggan. parang sa case ko din minsan. magjo-joke naman siya, yong bulok na o mejo corny kaya i just try to look like i found it funny. yong mga kapatid ko naman, wala lang. kung funny di tatawa sila, kung hindi, wala. i don't really know what they feel towards him. malamang mahal din nila siya pero dahil mahiyain din silang lahat, si mommy lang ang hindi, di rin nila masyadong napapakita. ang lungkot nung mahiyain no? mahal mo na nga, wala ka pa ring way para ma-express mo yong nararamdaman mo. alam naman siguro ni daddy na naaappreciate namin siya. sana hindi siya magsawa. mabuti nga siyang asawa at ama e. masipag, tapos kami parati ang iniisip. iyon nga lang, may konting reklamo sa kanya si mommy dahil nga di siya gaanong nagsasalita. for example kung pinagde-decide siya, parati niyang sinasabing bahala kami. so pag minsan, napupuno si mommy at sinasabi niya sa akin. or kung ginagabi, pag minsan di nagtetext tapos di namin alam kung asan siya. he doesn't really have a good way with words. pero, nevertheless, mahal namin siya. sana maramdaman niya iyon. kung hindi man, sana naman maipakita namin. mejo sumasakit ang puso ko, naiisip ko itong ganito. pero sana hindi pa huli ang lahat. dapat nga itetext ko siya, kaya lang, masyado nang late. sa pag-uwi ko uli. hinihintay na ako ni kristia. at nature's calling. ang aga kasi ni kristia. gusto ko pa sanang matulog. hay, 08:33 am na po and this is funky*soul, signing off. peace!

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