disappointed again

lately, my life's been a blur. nothing's happened that's so memorable. in fact, i feel really sorry for myself that i'm sort of wasting away. my thoughts are disorganied but i know they're all linked at some point. this discontinuity disables me from seeing a complete view of my life at this point in time. these days that i haven't been able to write illustrate my disbelief in my life. what's there to write about? there's nothing here that's keeping me alive. literally. or is there? i don't know. right now, this life is one big blurred shape zooming by, no attachments, no color, no end. it just rolls by - no rocks or inclined planes to change its course. why do i feel like this when there has been no disappointment so far? i dunno. sometimes, you know, thinking can be a complete waste of time.